So, the last several years have been made up of "i'll catch up tomorrow"! And incredibly all those tomorrows became months and years! Years chalked full of memories, laughs, questions, doubts, trials, and triumphs.
So here we are dancing in the light of the New Year 2015, where Back to the Future promised us hovering cars and electric shoe laces. And when we first watched that movie, we thought about how incredibly far away that was and how none of us was ever going to be that old. I mean 40 was like almost dead, right? Well, when you are in the moment and the blazing candles on the cake are flickering and the to off key singing someone adds your name to the song; you realize time has some how gotten away from you. and someone has the nerve to add "and many more, you're old like a dinosaur. And when you are living and looking ahead, you never realize how fast you are going until it's the eve of your last day in your 30's and you're staring at a mental break down brought on by reality. A reality that you know you can't change and all of a sudden you are not in control of anything and never were. ...but how when the sun comes up that next morning and you are still breathing and 41 is peeking around the corner, laughing, it's not so bad. In fact, it's an opportunity to live and make a difference. Make memories. laugh. love.
Not that this ever happened to me. I feel bad for all my friends that graduated with me that are turning 40. must.be.hard.
So in the time that got away, the kids have grown up so much.
The baby that was born the size of a kindergartner is now roaming the halls of junior high. His long legs and lean frame have decided basketball was a great direction and our days are not complete without a bouncing ball in the drive way, down the hall, and even in the bathroom. We are all developing a serious case of bleacher butts and our little sprite has begun writing her first novel entitled "my life in the bleachers.". There's so much more to him than that, though. He's smart and funny and sometimes over the top. He sets "picks" in the kitchen while I'm trying to do dishes. He pretends he doesn't want hugs. He thinks of others. He thinks outside the box. Somedays, he doesn't want the box at all.
Cupcake is a thousand personalities in a very tiny frame. She has a great smile that makes her nose crinkle up. She raises her eye brows when she's trying to make a point. She's a ball of fire when things don't go according to her plan. And she laughs a lot when things do. She thinks she's in charge sometimes. We remind her she's not. She loves to dance and stops halfway down the sidewalk to do a hand stand just because. She practices doing splits and tells me I can't do them right. I tell her if I tried, I'd be stuck that way forever. And since there are still days I believed my mother about my face "freezing that way", I thought i shouldn't risk the whole split thing. Someday she thinks she'd like to be a cheerleader. Her father says only if they wear more clothes. Good thing she also likes basketball. otherwise she'll be the only cheerleader in snow pants and a turtleneck.
My husband and I are still in love. He's compassionate and gentle and still full of useless trivia. Hopefully we have a whole lot of tomorrows to spend together, trying to figure out this family thing. Trying to parent without a handbook. We spend our days wondering if we are doing anything right and relish in the joy of things like, unexpected hugs, an apology where it was needed, witnessing them enjoying each other, and the peace of still checking on them at night. Stealing another glance at them sleeping and making sure they are still breathing. The comfort in love. the joy of being able to try.
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